Advice from real brides – The secrets to a Happy Marriage
Susan Ruby Emina Our very own Bride of Culture who got married October 2008
This question seems so final. I have been married for one year and so I am still finding out what works…Every marriage is different, just like houses and cars. I mean there are generic things that will help all marriages but it’s not a one size fits all solution! You have to find what works for you. For example, in our marriage Justin and I have something called a date night. Each week, we go out on a date to a restaurant and just have a chat. It’s a great time to air concerns and discuss plans. We love it and have not missed one, even if we just have a candlelit dinner at home.
Healthy Sex LifeDO NOT EXPECT WHAT YOU SEE IN THE MOVIES!!! I am not saying that to make sex sound mechanical and a chore. I am saying this so that you have realistic expectations. Expect to enjoy it. Expect for it to be special. BUT it’s not fair to expect your hubby or wife to formulate all sorts of acrobatic positions that send you into orbit. Grow together; get books that give you practical and visual advice, set the mood with music and candles, and agree how often you will make love as a guideline so that no one is disappointed. Oooohhh and if you have never waxed, stop being a chicken and get that sorted! Trust me, you will feel incredibly sexy.
Everyday IssuesOn my bridal shower I was given a wonderful piece of advice; ‘not everything requires a board meeting’. We have been blessed with a unique ability to concentrate on the details; the sock that missed the laundry basket, the plate that didn’t make its way to the sink, the tone of voice when they answered the phone. This nature is a great gift however; it can cause the lovely logical man you married to turn into a raging mess. Select your arguments very wisely.
Susan writes a regular blog of her experiences of married life, follow her journey – Forevernewlywed.blogspot.com
Tope Babatola. Our very own Bride of Culture who got married October 2009.
I have 10 principles that I believe all married couples must remember and action. This is in order of importance to me… Follow these main principles and you’re set for long, happy and fulfilled marriage.
- Keep God first – He must always be the 3rd party in every marriage.
- Your marriage second – your marriage must come above all other things.
- Support each other
- Money matters
- Husband is King… but Wife is the Queen
- Keep dating
- Keep the love alive
- Tell the whole truth
Healthy Sex LifeThis is something I’m still trying to get used to (The time I wrote this I’ve been married just 5 weeks)… It is so easy to fall into that routine of getting home after work and just putting on some old comfy clothes, until one day it clicked that dressing like that completely turned my mind off sex. So I decided to make an effort to the clothes I wear when I’m at home, things like shorts and vests (comfortable but still sexy), making sure I wear sexy undies to bed especially on weekends. Also, couples need to realise that all the naughty fun you had before you got married can still be carried into marriage. Things like giving each other full body massage in the sitting room with candles, etc.
Everyday IssuesA lot will happen each day that will make you upset or angry; things like wanting to watch different TV programs, choosing between what you want to cook and what he wants you to cook… the main lesson here is COMPROMISE. You can’t argue over every issue that crops up, always remember that you are both 2 individual people that have come together as one, so it takes time to get yourselves into a flow and pattern that works best for you.